I am gettin ready for turkey n Tucky. I cant wait to get down there and fill my guts till I feel like a sploded opossum on the side of the road. (What did you say? I spelled opossum correctly?... Of coarse what do you think I am?...A barbarian?) I usually stop just before my jeans button is about to pop. Who knows this year I could be convicted of wreckless homicide if the rivet was to let go and someone is in the line of fire.
When I get down there I will be in full on consume mode and the women and children best just skinny on out the back if they know whats good for them. I luvs me some turkey and fixins like a fat kid luvs cake. Anyone caught in the onslaught should just drag their wounded bodies to the side of the room and assume the tornado position just in case a fork goes flyin.
Yeah you don't get this manly physique overnight. It takes years of commitment and dedication and a pinch of gluttony. We are packing the hand truck with us and taking the seats out of the van so Brando will have a place to stick me and wont have to roll me out to the van like a butterball turkey. Mmmmm turkey..... Sorry I digest...
I hope that everyone can have a belly busting and relaxing turkey day.
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